It’s what I love the most about you!” We both smiled and hugged.Once, in a restaurant in Italy with my family, I occasioned enormous merriment, as a nineteenth-century humorist would have put it, by confusing two Italian words. Without thinking, I found myself saying, “Aunt Gert, thank you for your thank you. As I approached my beloved aunt, I watched her face light up and her lips form those famous two words. I excused myself, ran out to the car, and brought the flowers back in to the retirement home. Now I smiled to myself and realized I had a chance to once again experience the magic of her gratitude. I had brought my Aunt Gert a bunch of flowers, but had forgot about them and left them in my car. Looking each of these people in the eyes and simply acknowledging a kindness or loving gesture can make an enormous difference in both of your lives. When was the last time you thanked the ones you work with? Have you recently thanked your partner for loving you? Have you lately noticed the little things this person has done for you? Things so small it is easy to take them for granted? Have you really taken the time to observe the special things your children are perhaps doing every day for you? How about your parents? There is so much to thank them for, if you really pay attention to details. Thank you for being here with me.” His huge smile revealed how much he enjoyed being acknowledged and received. I would tell him, “Thank you for bringing so much joy into my life. I tried to balance this by also thanking him for the loving wonderful boy that he was.
I could see how much he enjoyed my thanking him for these gifts. When our son was little, he frequently wrapped toys from his room and offered them to me as gifts. The simple words, “thank you,” said with sincerity and perhaps even a smile, can open doors in a relationship. Children, siblings, mates, parents, colleagues, bosses and employees all have the same need to be received or acknowledged. Having our love received is a basic human need. Her gratitude always makes me feel better. One staff person pulled my aside and said, “When I’m having a difficult day myself I try to do something for your aunt. Her acknowledgement of them brought an even greater outpouring of kindness. Aunt Gert noticed every kindness shown to her and with a sweet smile would quietly say, “thank you.” She thanked the staff and her fellow residents for even the smallest act of thoughtfulness. As I watched her carefully it gradually dawned on me.
I wondered what there was about her that made her so popular. My aunt is a quiet person and almost totally deaf. I watched the staff go out of their way to be kind and thoughtful to her, and give her hugs at every opportunity. “I like my job here because I get to see Gertrude each day.” Here are some of the comments I heard from them: Among the hundred or so residents, Aunt Gert was clearly the most popular among the staff. Aunt Gertrude is almost ninety-eight years old. Recently I visited my aunt in her retirement home.
What are these two special words and why aren’t we using them all the time? The words are simply … thank you. There are two words which, when used often, can bring more harmony to a relationship, more peace to a difficult situation, more beauty to the world, and more ease to parenting.
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